now it is easier for people to communicate with each other through the internet.but at the same time,the internet also reduces the opportunities for people to communicate face to face.it is also more difficult than starting and maintaining intimate relationships,especially romantic ones.many people hurt by intimacy turn to inanimate objects for comfort,such as silicone dolls.
when you think of silicone dolls,many people think of sex and nerds.but for men unable to reconnect,these silicone dolls are meant for their families.they meet their spiritual needs through these dolls.
(1):they live with sex dolls and have nothing to do with sex
there is a documentary about silicone dollls,in which several men(old men who have lost their wives.older single stay-at-home men,young fathers)bring silicone dolls into their lives for different purposes to bond with”them”.
since the death of his wife on a personal life of the elderly,taiboring (not his real name),unwilling to find a new partner,will be the silicone doll as his wife,to give their own motivation to live.
Mr.Tabored,a lifelong doctor,yearned for his wife’s kindness.”i still don’t know how to love someone to this degree”.he exclaimed.”without you,i have no direction.”
because the first doll is black heart factory,not long on the bad,the old man feel sorry not to.
although it is defective,but the old man still love it,because “she” had been with his wife after the death of a period of time.
the old man will hold dozens of pounds of silicone doll dance every day,because his wife loved to dance.the old man who wanted to end his life felt responsible for the doll.
“anyway,i’ll live for her.”
unlike the septuagenarian who lived for his dead wife,zhang bo,an elderly single indoorsman,said living with the silicone doll gave him another possibility.
after spending more than a decade with the doll,he has been single since the end of a three-year relationship.relationships and marriage,in his view,are resource swaps;comparing what they have,negotiating what they want in life,rv,kids,education…Everything is utilitarian.
just want to enjoy the joys of intimacy,not the responsibilities.it’s a desire that many people are too ashamed to talk about(and,by social standards,”immature”).building a new intimacy and living with the silicone doll,zhang chose the latter after weighning the pros and cons.
he said he would not have sex with the doll and that his love for “her”was pure.if there is a fire,two dolls can only save one,he will choose to be burned with “them” .the doll was not just an inanimate toy to him,but an alter go.
(2):It’s not a doll,but my lonely self
the intimate relationship between the owner and the doll cannot help but remind me of the shadow in the age of intelligence,the relationship between objects and people geting more and more familiar,but the relationship between people is becoming increasingly indifferent.people are increasingly focused on themselves and struggling to maintain relationships with others.while selfishness is a natural trait,it has to be admitted that social networks magnify it.
“the imitation of the real artificial dummy,finally can replace the real person to accompany us,the result of the paradox between people and things,i’m afraid that will become more and more serious.”
a doll photographer said:”what is a necessary condition for love?i thought i need at least a real person,and i love between people seems to be beyond the limit.with another entity to produce emotional communication,isn’t it the necessary premise of love?or our daily talk about love is just said the words,self projected product?”
why do inanimate objects feel more secure in the company of them?perhaps it’s because the relationship is stuck in the best part of a “normal relationship”:people find each other based on their own preconceived notions,have cognitive biases when they first fall in love,see only the good in each other and consciously ignore the bad in each other.
as for the seconed half;at some point,you wake up to find out that your partner isn’t as good as you thought he or she would be,and the relationship becomes frustrating and hurtful–something that doesn’t exist in relationships.
people endow dolls with “life” through their own imagination and emotional projection.projected emotions to the doll,the doll does not respond,but the person cannot be hurt.some people get hurt in intimate relationships,feel frustrated,and lose the ability and courage to repair the relationship and start over.
what the silicone doll meant to these peopel made me think of the little prince and his rose,”she” was special and unique–“his love for a rose–his love for a rose–even when he was asleep,the shadow of the rose still lit up his life like a lamp…”
loneliness is a topic that every one of us can’t get arround.building bonds with others is one of the most effective ways to alleviate loneliness,and it is also the way that most people choose to face loneliness.some choose to be alone,others priject their emotions into inanimate objects.
can we be inspired by the relationship betwen people and objects?the combination of active communication and silent projection,there is also the tenderness of living love and companionship.